Cross Breeds

A RESCUERS ANSWERING MACHINE:?

Found a rare find on Craigslist..thought it was worth passing on... A little long, but worth reading... ---------------- Hello: You have reached ___-____, Tender Hearts Rescue. Due to the high volume of calls we have been receiving, please listen closely to the following options and choose the one that best describes you or your situation: Press 1 if you have a 10-year-old dog and your 15-year-old son has suddenly become allergic and you need to find the dog a new home right away. Press 2 if you are moving today and need to immediately place your 150 pound, 8-year-old dog. Press 3 if you have three dogs, had a baby and want to get rid of your dogs because you are the only person in the world to have a baby and dogs at the same time. Press 4 if you just got a brand new puppy and your old dog is having problems adjusting so you want to get rid of the old one right away. Press 5 if your little puppy has grown up and is no longer small and cute and you want to trade it in for a new model. Press 6 if you want an unpaid volunteer to come to your home TODAY and pick up the dog you no longer want. Press 7 if you have been feeding and caring for a "stray" for the last three years, are moving and suddenly determine it's not your dog. Press 8 if your dog is sick and needs a vet but you need the money for your vacation. Press 9 if you are elderly and want to adopt a cute puppy who is not active and is going to outlive you. Press 10 if your relative has died and you don't want to care for their elderly dog because it doesn't fit your lifestyle. Press 11 if you no longer have "the time" to take care of your dog. Where did your time go and who has it now? Press 12 if you can no longer afford to feed you 10 lb dog who only eats about 1/2 cup of dog food a day. Press 13 if your dog has gotten bigger than some of the other dogs that you have seen of the same breed so now you want to get rid of her. Press 14 if you are calling at 6 a.m. to make sure you wake me up before I have to go to work so you can drop a dog off on your way to work. Press 15 to leave us an anonymous garbled message, letting us know you have left a dog in our yard in the middle of January, which is in fact, better than just leaving the dog with no message. Press 16 if you are going to get angry because we are not going to take your dog that you have had for fifteen years, because it is not our responsibility. Press 17 if you are going to threaten to take your ten year old dog to be euthanized because I won't take it. Press 18 if you're going to get angry because the volunteers had the audacity to go on vacation and leave the dogs in care of a trusted volunteer who is not authorized to take your personal pet. Press 19 if you want one of our PERFECTLY trained, housebroken, kid and cat friendly purebred dogs that we have an abundance of. Press 20 if you want us to take your dog that has a slight aggression problem, i.e. has only bitten a few people and killed your neighbor's cats. Press 21 if you have already called once and been told we don't take personal surrenders but thought you would get a different person this time with a different answer. Press 22 if you want us to use space that would go to a stray to board your personal dog while you are on vacation, free of charge, of course. Press 23 if it is Christmas Eve or Easter morning and you want me to deliver an eight week old puppy to your house by 6:30 am before your kids wake up. Press 24 if you want us to take your female dog who has already had ten litters, but we can't spay her because she is pregnant again and it is against your religion. Press 25 if you're lying to make one of our younger volunteers feel bad and take your personal pet off your hands. Press 26 if your two year old male dog is marking all over your house but you just haven't gotten around to having him neutered. Press 27 if you previously had an outdoor only dog and are calling because she is suddenly pregnant. Press 28 if you have done "everything" to housebreak your dog and have had no success but you don't want to crate the dog because it is cruel. Press 29 if you didn't listen to the message asking for an evening phone number and you left your work number when all volunteers are also working and you are angry because no one called you back. Press 30 if you need a puppy immediately and cannot wait because today is your daughter's birthday and you forgot when she was born. Press 31 if your dog's coat doesn't match your new furniture and you need a different color or breed. Press 32 if your new love doesn't like your dog and you are too stupid to get rid of the new friend (who will dump you in the next month anyway) instead of the dog. Press 33 if you don't understand why your Husky doesn't listen when you call him, your Bloodhound runs off when he tracks a scent, your 'designer dog'

Public Comments

1. I have seen this..I love it!!
2. lol thats a good one :)
3. "Am I Famous Now?" I was born today. One of 10. My daddy was very famous. I have lots of half brothers and sisters. My mother is very famous. Since she got famous, she has only had puppies. No more loving hands, no more fun trips... just puppies. She is always sad when they leave her. I left home today. I didn't want to go, so I hid behind my mama and my three littermates that were left. I didn't like you. But one day they said I would be famous. I wonder -- is famous the same as fun and good times? So you picked me up and carried me away, even though you were concerned about me hiding from you. I don't think you liked me. My new home is far away. I am scared and afraid. My heart says BE BRAVE. My ancestors were. Did they go to good homes like mine? I'm hungry because I can't eat too much because it will be bad for my bones. I can't bite or snap when the children are mean to me. I just run and play and pretend I am in a big green field with butterflies and robins and frogs. I can't understand why they kick me. I am quiet, but the man hits and says loud things. The lady doesn't feed me good things like I had with my mother. She just throws dry food on the ground, then goes away before I can get too close for touching and petting. Sometimes my food smells bad but I eat it anyway. Today I had 10 puppies. They are so wonderful and warm. Am I famous now? I wish I could play with them, but they are so tiny. I am so young and playful that it is hard to lay here in this hole under the house nursing my puppies.. They are crying now. I am so hungry. I scratch and worry my fur. I wish someone would throw me some food. I am also very thirsty. I now have eight. Two got cold during the night and I couldn't make them warm again. They are gone. We are all very weak. Maybe if I take them out on the porch, we can get some food. Today they took us away. It was too much trouble to feed us and someone came to take us away. Someone grabbed my puppies, they were crying and whimpering. We were put in a truck with boxes in it. Are my babies famous now? I hope so, because I miss them. They are gone. The place smelled of urine, fear and sickness. Why was I here? I was beautiful, like my ancestors. Now I am hungry, dirty, in pain and unwanted. Maybe the worst is unwanted. No one came though I tried to be good. Today someone came. They put a rope on my neck and led me to a room that was very clean and had a shiny table. They put me on the table. Someone held me and hugged me. It felt so good!!! Then I felt tired and laid over the last one who cared. I AM FAMOUS NOW. Today someone cared.
4. Lol! I LOVE THIS! Tehe, I might ask my shelter to add this to there answer machine! < 33