Cross Breeds

what do you think of this story?

forbidden The moon shone bright in the sky ass I walked over to the forbidden zone. I walked slowly step by step ready to run in case the savage beasts jump out at me and tries to get me. I noticed that the light from the moon shone particularly bright tonight as I walked along. The forest was full of many wild animals that would make easy pray. I saw something in a tree starring at me, I tried to ignore it but its yellow eyes kept glaring down at me. I had a thought to run back to camp. Then suddenly I saw it start to move. It flapped its wings a couple of times but never taking its eyes of me. It Jamp in the air and took flight. It flew so high I could barely see it. It started swooping down at some speed. I paused glaring at the beauty of this creature. Then I froze realizing why it never took its eyes of me. It was aiming at me. I was the massive birds prey. I felt like a mouse cornered by a cat. I paused in fear. It was extremely close so I ducked. Its mighty talons dug through my skin. The blood was rushing from my shoulder. A viscous howl came from the bird as it flew at me again getting faster and faster. This time its talons missed. I came to my senses and started sprinting. I sprinted deeper into the forbidden zone. This thing just chased me, my heart was beating fast, and I was starting to run out of breath. I then realized that a tree must have fallen earlier. So I slid under the tree to take cover. The flying creature flew up high hovering over the area as if it was scanning for me. I took this opportunity to catch my breath and try to identify the animal. I thought and thought and thought. My tribe had caught many things with wings before but never like this. What could it be I wondered to my self? Is it an owl or a crow these guesses were random and obviously wrong. What ever it was it was big scary quick and smart. Luckily I was smarter. I had caught my breath so I grabbed a near by stone. Still under the tree I aimed the stone carefully. Then I threw it. Wham. I got it right between the eyes and made it crash to the ground. I found this the perfect opportunity to walk over and examine the creature. It had a long beak, massive talons and wide wings. It had a lush brown color with small white spots at the end of its feathers. I remembered the chiefs warning that he told us young ones. He told us that a new bird had entered our forest. He warned us to avoid them. He made us swear only to fight them in self defense. If I can remember right I think he called it an eagle. i only wrote the start cos i couldn't sleep

Public Comments

1. its very good. but i think u need to work on ur spelling and grammar
2. I don't mean to crush your dreams, but your writing needs a lot of work. You need to pay attention in English class (I'm assuming you're still at school), especially if the lesson is about grammar, spelling or tenses. You've got a long way to go if you want to be a writer.