Cross Breeds

What's your opinion on my poem?

Paws The kitten leaps playfully throughout life. His little paws bound around – hop, hop, hop. A cat he becomes, involved in life’s strife. He’s old now and his body shouts, “stop!” The kitten interprets the word ‘pause’ as paws. The cat interprets the world ‘paws’ as pause. You wonder why I present these viewpoints. Optimists and the pessimists, and they’re breakpoints. My friend told me to write a shorter poem, so I did. Any and all comments are appreciated. ~sig~ 7 days without soccer makes one weak ahh... the fourth comment. You do not see what I express. You say that my poem is unresolved, well you got something right there. This is for the reader to wonder about, to think about, to give people something to do a double-take and be like "wait, look at that, it could mean this, but wait it could also mean this," this INSPIRES people, don't you see that? fifth comment*

Public Comments

1. aww i like it! :] im a major fans of kittens lol
2. a little simpilistic but interesting. Subject matter not too deep
3. To me I have no idea what it is supposed to mean. but poems are supposed to be like that, right?
4. A little too "telly." Some more images would be better.
5. I like the idea, but there are a couple problems in its execution. I think "life's strife" is awkward. Poetry should be spoken aloud, and the identical sounds right after one another just doesn't feel right. Also I'm not sure what the last line is supposed to mean -- Optimists and pessimists are break points in what? Do you mean 'their' breakpoints? That doesn't really follow either. The line doesn't seem to connect to the line before it, and neither of the last 2 lines seem to flow out of the ideas from the previous 6. They don't seem to tie the stanza together, and that makes the poem seem unresolved, to me. I understand the concept of extending the imagery in the last few lines to invoke a wider theme, I just don't get the idea you're trying to invoke.