Cross Breeds

Why my husband still calling his ex ? They do not have kids only 2 little dogs! they live with us?

My husband before marriage told me _I hope you should not be a jealous person because sometimes I'm still talking with my ex just for the dogs we share... Ok, we have 2 little dogs. The dogs were my husband and his ex dogs ... But, you know after 3 years marriage with him, they still talking on the phone at least once per month , he said is only for his dog. But I really do not like it !! One morning she called him only just to tell him _ becareful do not leave the dogs too much time out because it is snowing a lot, please. They were married for 13 years, they divorced 6 years ago and we got married 3 years. I know him and he take care his dog very good! He never leave the dogs out for more than 5 minutes during the winter. Why she need to call him for Stupid reason? but I know for sure because I checked in his cell phone that at least once per month they communicate each other. He said to me _ I do not love her only we are just friends and the life is only one why be upset :=( I would like to add that one time she called him because she need him to come to her house to fix something in her basement. My husband is an electrician... And another time she called him just to tell him that she has some problem with her chimeney...And tell him what happend...blablabla... My husband sometimes get upset with me because he said_STOP BEING JEALOUS !! I do not know, what can I do?? Actually a long long time ago she stops calling him at his home phone number , now they used his cell phone , but they talk when I'm not there...I'm assume because my husband does not want me to be upset. But I know they still talking once per month!! I do not know why??? But I can not ask him because he does not know that I'm checking his cell. He will be very upset if he found out Advice and opinions, please! Thanks!!

Public Comments

1. i don't think he should be talking to her anymore at all. esp. once a month. she should trust his ability to handle the dogs and if she doesn't then she should have them. they don't need to share custody of pets. if they're on such good terms they should be able to trust the other one with the care of these animals and move on with their own lives. doesn't she have any pets of her own? she shouldn't be worrying about yours.
2. After 3 years with you, he shouldn't need to talk with her about anything. If she is SOOO worried about the "dogs" then she needs to find NEW ones or they need to split them up (the dogs). This is not healthy for your marriage. He needs to know that. Tell him either he gives the dogs to a new home or she has to go. It's not fair to you (the third wheel).
3. you are makeing something out of nothing so chill out sounds like you hubby really love's you and you only!
4. I understand how you feel and that's natural. Trust is a big part of making a relationship work. Once a month is not often. However ask this question; if the dogs are theirs then should they not talk. I'm sure you have become attached to the dogs what if the ex took ownership of them now and you could not see the dogs. If this bothers you that much then you should tell your husband you want him to break all ties with her. Maybe the conversation will help you to see how innocent their relationship is or maybe your husband will see that he needs to stop their contact. Either way only good can come out of you two talking about it.
5. I think you have every right to know what they are talking about. Sounds suspicious to me if they try to hide their conversation from you. If all they are talking about is dogs, it shouldn't matter if you hear it or not. Seems to me a call once a month isn't much to worry about, but again why hide it. I'm more concerned with that you think they are hiding something. Your feelings are only going to get worst unless you talk to him about it, calmly of course. I honestly believe you have every right to be part of the conservation. You take care of the dogs too. The part about him going over there to fix junk, that is just wrong. You are married to him now, so he needs to be sensitive to your feelings, not hers. Some folks might think it's ok for them to be just friends. I can't disagree more, especially if it is causing tension between you and your husband. He needs to reevaluate his commitment to you, not hers. His commitment to her ended in divorce, simple as that. I read some of your other questions. I think your issues are much deeper then some phone calls over some dogs.
6. My soon to be husband and his ex have two dogs together and let me tell you if he was to still be talking to his ex over dogs there is a problem there. She has the dogs and he doesn't bother with her. She tried to use the dogs to get back with him telling him how much they missed him and all. That crap doesn't work in my book. You need to put your foot down!
7. well if they only talk once a month, it doesn't sound like you need to worry at all. but if its still bothering you just just sit him down and tell him that when you were paying the bills you saw that they had spoken and that as you new wife he should respect you enough not to talk to her, especially behind your back.
8. It sounds to me that there are three people in your marriage - and one of them has to go! It is not normal to behave as your husband's ex does. She sounds like she is still dependant on him. She needs to get a life and move on -and your husband needs to tell her that.
9. reality check time!!!!!so what you are saying is that you don't trust him. So what if he still talks to her and helps her out they were married for 13 years but he is with you now not her if he wanted her he would still be with her. If you dont stop obsessing and just relax you are not only in for trouble but heartache and unhappiness. She was freaking about leaving the dogs out when it had been snowing alot plain and simple why not take it all at face value. If he is an electrician and he fixed something in her house he saved her some money that stuff is expensive. Plain and simple. I think you need to leave his phone alone. That is an invasion of his privacy and really shows that you dont trust him. Yes I'm a woman BTW
10. I understand why you are bothered by this, but if you make it an issue, you may be doing the wrong thing, because he will never stop unless he wants to himself. Sounds like he still does respect her and at least he is not a cold fish. He is being considerate of her in her times of need, and do not forget that you cannot erase thirteen years of marriage, and if a strong friendship has emerged from that marriage, it shows your husband will stick by you if the same thing happens to your marriage. You have 10 years to wait and find out if your marriage will survive past the 13 years his first marriage did. Keep cool, you never know.
11. I wouldn't worry about it. I know it's hard to let something go when you feel like you are being wronged. About the only thing you can do I guess is tell him how you feel. As long as he doesn't have unaccounted time or missing expenses, they are probably not sleeping together. Tell him and her that they can talk on the home phone and that talking on cell makes you uncomfortable. She may be doing all this to make you jealous or uncomfortable. He is probably just doing it cause men are clueless about how conniving women can be. Don't let her see that you are upset. If she's doing it to be mean, then that'll take all the fun out of it for her.
12. you are probably unecessarily jealous. They are probably just friends and feel the need to hide it from you. its sad. If you're keeping him happy with; attention, affection and yes Sex, you have nothing to worry about.
13. See what he does when you talk on the phone with your ex. Time for a taste of the 'ole medicine...
14. I'm sorry,but you are being silly.Some people really love there dogs,and once a month is not to much for her to call.He loves you.He is with you.Your jealously is going to put a fence between you.It already has you sneaking around checking his cell phone.They have been divorced for 6 yrs.He doesn't have any love feelings for her.They were married for a long time,and you do become friends and still care for the ex,but not in aloving way.Calm down quite being silly trust your husband.Grow up.
15. Wow, I would totally be jealous! Who woulfnt. The fact that she still asks him to do things, to make sure he still loves her. You need to have a serious discussion with him
16. There are 4people in this relationship! An ex, 2dogs and your husband. 3 have to go! unless you're besotted with the dogs. Move house, change the phone number, give ex back the dogs, get a new dog or dogs that belong to just you and husband! Put his cell phone in the mincer. Bid ex a 'fond' farewell and get on with loving your husband xxxxxxxx