Cross Breeds - Are my cats trying to kill me ??!!?

Are my cats trying to kill me ??!!?

My cat's two favourite tricks are sneaking into my bathroom & sitting directly behind me so when I step back I nearly fall over them & going downstairs ahead of me but pausing on random steps so I have to sidestep them at the last minute or grab the bannister to avoid stepping on them, they seem to do this more when I am carrying stuff.... My husband says he has been coaching them (!!!) could this be true, is it only a matter of time before my Omen cats cause me to break my neck ??!!

Public Comments

Yes, I will keep this posting as evidence against your husband when I read about you in the newspaper!
you cant train cats. they do what they like, when they like.. they have an evil streak though, did you ever see they way they look at you? its creepy
hahaha really? My cat scartched my face earlier? Maybe they have a plot to take over the world?
thats very freaky ..rather you than me i would get rid of the cats and your husband!!!!!!!!!!
That's funny! You do need to be careful though -- it would only take one time of tripping over one going down the stairs....Good Luck to you!!!
my cats do that all the time but i'm lucky i live in a bungalow. your very likely to trip over at some point- just avoid the cats when you fall...
my cats do that all the time so does my dog i think they are curious what you are doing
Ummm, yes, cats are evil-look at their eyes!
wow sweetheart, i think you might be thie victim of a CAT CONSPIRACY!! they are everywhere!! i heard of an epidemic in Mylasia or somewhere. hey, look, it's my cat now wait, what is she doing? is that a .... oh dang
I don't think they're trying to kill you. But I do know they play all sorts of weird tricks...you might be an unwilling player in some bizarre sort of kitty game! Be careful!
May be they are playing with you...
they just want feeds. chuck em some red meat tainted in you husbands pheremones(his undies), to get them on your side. fish just makes em smarter
yes, your cats were specially bred as assassins
all cats do this..its usually cos they want food, or fuss.
haha thats funny. I wish my cats were crazy
My cat does this kind of thing all the time too. I like to think she just wants to stay close to me, but I really think they do it it for the same reason someone hides behind a door and scares you, or tickles their little brother til he pee's... beacuse they know its bad but they just want to see what will happen when they do it.
Yup... All cat's have a secret agenda. We are Siamese, if you please. We are Siamese if you don't please! We are former residents of Siam There are no finer cats than we am We are Siamese with very dainty claws Please observing paws containing dainty claws Now we lookin' over our new domicile If we like we stay for maybe quite a while Do you seeing that thing swimming round and round? Maybe we could reaching inside and make it drown. If we sneaking up upon it carefully, There will be a head for you, a tail for me! Do you hear what I hear? Ahhhhrr... a baby cry! Where we finding baby There are milk nearby! If we look in baby buggy There could be Plenty milk for you, And also some for me. They are all out to get you. They are however on my side because I get it!
Hmmm, I'd be worried. But at least you've got yours wits about you. If they ever insist on you having 'a nice cup of tea' that they've just made, you should make sure they taste it first.
they love you you are one part of the family to them and i would put my life on it you are the one that feeds themthey are 2,or 3 years old and not older
Cats may be predatory, but they are not sentient; they are simply not intelligent enough to possess any form of malice beyond mere predatory/competitive instinct. The fact that you probably feed them means that they have every interest in keeping you alive. I would suspect that your husband's joking, and that they merely want attention at inopportune times. Having said this, what you describe isn't exactly safe, so I would take steps to discourage this sort of behavior. For example, if they stop in front of you as you're descending the stairs, give them a nudge with your foot. Not a kick; just enough to let them know they should move. Cats may not be as smart as certain animals like dolphins and apes, but they're not stupid, and should eventually get the hint.
I really don't think they are trying to kill you, hurt you maybe!! just kidding. I have some that will sit behind me sometimes but not all the time and don't have stairs but will still stop right in front of me when I am walking. They are just wanting your attention if you can get a collar with a bell or something that makes a little noise so you know they are there and you can avoid stepping on them or hurting your self.
The cats are not trying to kill you. It seems that many cats have a fascination with the bathroom and they will "hang" on the stairs like that too. They are curious and wonder what you are doing, or some of them like the sound of running water. I never have figured out the stair thing, but it is very common.
Cats CAN be trained. Cats do that sometimes, it happens. It sounds like they really like you though. They follow you, like you are the leader. Also, if you are nasty (dont like the cats) and show them that you dont like them, then they pick up on those bad vibes and act out on their own. Cats love attention as well, this may be their way of getting it from you. Try loving on them more and making sure they are well occupied with toys.
my friend had a cat like that. it sits at the top of the stairs and as soon as they go down it puts its paws out !!!! the little darlings!!
I have one cat who gets under my feet constantly. No, they are not trying to kill you. They just want your attention. Try picking him/her up and carrying them down the stairs. Also, when you go to step back, slide your foot along the floor to move them out of your way. Don't kick the cat, just push it out of your way. This is common behavior of cats. It is EXTREMELY RARE that a cat can be trained to do anything they don't want to do. They are just simply too independent for this. Your husband is probably just joking with you. But if you have reason to believe he might try, call your local crisis center immediately.
GUIDELINES FOR CATS Humans: Humans have three primary functions: to feed us, to play with and give attention to us, and to clean the litter box. It is important to maintain one's Dignity when around humans so that they will not forget who is the master of the house. Humans need to know basic rules. They can be taught if you start early and are consistent. Here are the guidelines: Doors: Do not allow closed doors in any room. To get door opened, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened, it is not necessary to use it. After you have ordered an "outside" door opened, stand halfway in and out and think about several things. This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow, or mosquito season. Swinging doors are to be avoided at all costs. Chairs and Rugs: If you have to throw up, get to a chair quickly. If you cannot manage in time, get to an Oriental rug. If there is no Oriental rug, shag is good. When throwing up on the carpet, make sure you back up so that it is as long as the human's bare foot. Bathrooms: Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything . . . just sit and stare. Hampering: If one of your humans is engaged in some close activity and the other is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called "helping", otherwise known as "hampering." Following are the rules for "hampering": * When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and then picked up and comforted. * For book readers, get in close under the chin, between eyes and book, unless you can lie across the book itself. * For knitting projects or paperwork, lie on the work in the most appropriate manner so as to obscure as much of the work or at least the most important part. Pretend to doze, but every so often reach out and slap the pencil or knitting needles. The worker may try to distract you; ignore it. Remember, the aim is to hamper work. Embroidery and needlepoint projects make great hammocks in spite of what the humans may tell you. * For people paying bills (monthly activity) or working on income taxes or Christmas cards (annual activity), keep in mind the aim-to hamper! First, sit on the paper being worked on. When dislodged, watch sadly from the side of the table. When activity proceeds nicely, roll around on the papers, scattering them to the best of your ability. After being removed for the second time, push pens, pencils, and erasers off the table, one at a time. When a human is holding the newspaper in front of him/her, be sure to jump on the back of the paper. They love to jump. Walking: As often as possible, dart quickly and as close as possible in front of the human, especially on stairs, when they have something in their arms, in the dark, and when they first get up in the morning. This will help their coordination skills. Bedtime: Always sleep on the human at night so s/he cannot move around. Play: This is an important part of your life. Get enough sleep in the daytime so you are fresh for your nocturnal games. Below are listed several favorite cat games that you can play. It is important, though, to maintain one's dignity at all times. If you should have an accident during play, such as falling off a chair, immediately wash a part of your body as if to say "I meant to do that!" It fools those humans every time. Cat Games: * Catch Mouse: The humans would have you believe that those lumps under the covers are their feet and hands. They are lying. They are actually Bed Mice, rumored to be the most delicious of all the mice in the world, though no cat has ever been able to catch one. Rumor also has it that only the most ferocious attack can stun them long enough for you to dive under the covers to get them. Maybe YOU can be the first to taste the Bed Mouse! * King of the Hill: This game must be played with at least one other cat. The more, the merrier! One or both of the sleeping humans is Hill 303 which must be defended at all costs from the other cat(s). Anything goes. This game allows for the development of unusual tactics as one must take the unstable playing theater into account. Warning: Playing either of these games to excess will result in expulsion from the bed and possibly from the bedroom. Should the humans grow restless, immediately begin purring and cuddle up to them. This should buy you some time until they fall asleep again. If one happens to be on a human when this occurs, this cat wins the round of King of the Hill. Toys: Any small item is a potential toy. If a human tries to confiscate it, this means that it is a good toy. Run with it under the bed. Look suitably outraged when the human grabs you and takes it away. Always watch where it is put so you can steal it later. Two reliable sources of toys are dresser tops and wastebaskets. There are several types of cat toys. * Bright shiny things like keys, brooches, or coins should be hidden so that the other cat(s) or humans can't play with them. They are generally good for playing hockey with on uncarpeted floors. * Dangly and/or string-like things such as shoelaces, cords, gold chains, and dental floss (& Q-tips) also make excellent toys. They are favorites of humans who like to drag them across the floor for us to pounce on. * When a string is dragged under a newspaper or throw rug, it magically becomes the Paper/Rug Mouse and should be killed at all costs. Take care, though. Humans are sneaky and will try to make you lose your dignity. Paper Bags: Within paper bags dwell the bag mice. They are small and camouflaged to be the same color as the bag, so they are hard to see. But you can easily hear the crinkling noises they make as they scurry around the bag. Anything, up to and including shredding the bag, can be done to kill them. Note: any other cat you may find in a bag hunting for bag mice is fair game for a sneak attack, which will usually result in a great Tagmatch. Food: In order to get the energy to sleep, play, and hamper, a cat must eat. Eating, however, is only half the fun. The other half is getting the food. Cats have two ways to obtain food: convincing a human you are starving to death and must be fed now; and hunting for it oneself. The following are guidelines for getting fed. * When the humans are eating, make sure you leave the tip of your tail in their dishes when they are not looking. * Never eat food from your own bowl if you can steal some from the table. Never drink from your own water bowl if a human's glass is full enough to drink from. * Should you catch something of your own outside, it is only polite to attempt to get to know it. Be insistent. Your food will usually not be so polite and try to leave. * Table scraps are delicacies with which the humans are unfortunately unwilling to readily part. It is beneath the dignity of a cat to beg outright for food as lower forms of life such as dogs will, but several techniques exist for ensuring that the humans don't forget you exist. These include, but are not limited to: jumping onto the lap of the "softest" human and purring loudly; lying down in the doorway between the dining room and the kitchen, the "direct stare", and twining around people's legs as they sit and eat while meowing plaintively. Sleeping: As mentioned above, in order to have enough energy for playing, a cat must get plenty of sleep. It is generally not difficult to find a comfortable place to curl up. Any place a human likes to sit is good, especially if it contrasts with your fur color. If it's in a sunbeam or near a heating duct or radiator, so much the better. Of course, good places also exist outdoors, but have the disadvantages of being seasonal and dependent on current and previous weather conditions such as rain. Open windows are a good compromise. Scratching Posts: It is advised that cats use any scratching post the humans may provide. They are very protective of what they think is their property and will object strongly if they catch you sharpening your claws on it. Being sneaky and doing it when they aren't around won't help, as they are very observant. If you are an outdoor kitty, trees are good. Sharpening your claws on a human is not recommended.
My cat used to circle around my legs until one day I stepped on his foot/ He screamed. I screamed. and now he walks near me, but stays out of my way.
awww bless m8ine do this to me aswell. i think they think were ok cause we'll land on all fours
Yes. They are smart and always up to something. Entries in a Dog's Diary: 7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite! 8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite! 9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite! Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite! 2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My! favorite! 3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite! 4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite! 6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite! 7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite! 8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite! 9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite! 11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite! Entries in a cat's diary: Day 183 of my captivity ... My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded. Must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. Must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and try to strike fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. She speaks with them regularly. I am certain she reports my every move. Due to her current placement in the metal container, her safety is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time.
Ha ha ha! My cats both do this. One walks as slowly as possible in front of you and if you move to side to get past he moves with you. I think it is a devilish plot and we need Dr Who to come and rescue us from the catleks ;-)
One of my cats used to do this, she used to just creep up behind and sit there - I'd either fall over her, or tread on her feet if I didn't see her. Some cats are just very curious and like to know what you're doing, they have no concept of the danger! You almost have to have eyes in the back of your head with them. Just try to be aware and look behind you before you step back, I know its not easy but it is less painful for humans and cats!
I know how you feel, every morning I have to try to walk down the stairs (14) with 4 cats. They will not go ahead of me or behind me, all four have to go down with me. A couple of weeks ago I had an ear infection which affected my balance and everytime I went down the stairs I had to go on my butt because I was affraid of them tripping me...
Hahaha. Your cats are just playful!
my kitten does those things occasionally, when she feels left out and wants attention. do you and your husband give the cats lots of affection and attention? if not, maybe that is the reason. whatever you do, don't show anger towards them, that will just make them more depressed and troublesome. i think your husband was joking when he said he was coaching them.
Omg.... It`s the demon cats maby you forgot to give them something "attention" Maby they just want some Luv ^^
More to the point have the cat's got you well insured
GET THERE FIRST! CRUSH ONE OR TWO LIGHT BULBS INTO I TIN OF WHISKERS FEED THEM THIS MIXTURE END OF PROBLEM THEN GIVE SOME TO THE HUBBY AND WHEN THE FUNERAL IS OVER GIVE ME A CALL.
that's fuck up but i would say they gone wild
nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
yes you have evil cats
they are probaly aware of your feelings when they do this to you play with them or do something out of the norm when this happens like catching the tail or saying boo try banging your foot let them know you are the boss
check your husband hasn't renewed the life insurance policy and whether the moggies are named as beneficiaries!!! >^..^<
possibly - I had a friend whose Cat was writing her thesis for university on "humans and their changeable fur - Normal?" and that was why the cat's were watching humans so closely (or so she claimed). Maybe your Cats' thesis is "Humans and Accidents can they be trained to anticipate?"